What are your goals and dreams in life? Would achieving them require you to take a risk? What is it that prevents you from taking that risk? The answer to such a question is different and personal for everyone; but undoubtedly, the answer falls under one of these categories: lack of belief in yourself, unwillingness to put in the necessary work required, scared of the ‘what if’ or what could go wrong, afraid that you possibly might fail, spend too much time listening to the voices of fear and doubt, inaction or procrastination, worried about what others will think, dwelling upon past failures, etc.

I completely understand such thoughts and reasoning, because we ALL experience these same fears, reservations, and doubts. However, I also hope you will never forget that those individuals who are willing to make mistakes and potentially fail are also those who will ultimately succeed. And never forget that success is not the opposite of failure, success is the result of many failures by those who were willing to continually attempt. Thus, taking a risk does not necessarily mean that success will automatically result – taking that risk is simply the first difficult task required on the journey to success, and that journey may require several risks being taken, possibly could be interrupted by various failures, and will certainly need to be accompanied by continual daily action.

As you ponder on what your goals and dreams are, and what is required to achieve them, never forget these four principles:

1) Being Average is Risky: Never fall victim to using these four words, or accepting and living their definition: security, content, average, and good. The enemy of great is good. The opposite of full potential is average. Being content is being willing to fail. And the desire for security is a dangerous mentality that is one of the leading reasons why success, goals, and dreams are so rarely realized.

2) ‘I Wish I Would Have’: Have you ever been guilty of saying this unfortunate phrase? How often people look back in regret and say ‘I wish I would have’: bought that property, started that business, pursued that dream, made that investment, kept practicing that talent, mended that relationship, not given up on that goal, etc. Commit now to never again say ‘I wish I would have’ and be willing to take risks, decide confidently, obtain the necessary knowledge, learn from failure, and persist in continual action. Wise was John Whittier when he poetically wrote: “for of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘it might have been.’”

3) Comfort Zone Dangers: The moment you become complaisant or content and are unwilling to leave your comfort zone is the moment that success becomes much more difficult to obtain.

4) The Risk of the Majority: There are times when being on the side of the majority is the right place/side to be. However, if in pursuit of your dream or goal, you find yourself thinking and acting like the majority, recognize that you are not in very good company. The majority of people are unwilling to take risks, are content with mediocrity, don’t realize that failures allow us to learn, forget that persistence is more important than talent, think that success comes only if you have the money or time or knowledge, prefer procrastination and are unwilling to put in the work necessary to achieve their goals, and they spend too much time listening to the voices of fear and doubt that are in all of our minds. Be different – take the risk and do not follow or listen to the majority.

Taking a risk does not necessarily need to be risky. There is a difference between calculated risks and uneducated guesses. Having said that, every risk taken does require faith, temporary defeat and failure may be inevitable, continual work will certainly be required, time and money may be lost, and security might even be jeopardized. Never forget though that desire combined with belief, dreams combined with action, risks combined with knowledge, and failures combined with persistence will ultimately result in success. The great poet Robert Frost so perfectly summed up this true principle, and also revealed the reward when he penned: “two roads diverged in a wood, and I … I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

People everywhere are far more scared of actually accomplishing their dreams than they are of failing to achieve them. Being average, good, or mediocre is certainly easier and less-risky than the work necessary to be great and successful in anything! Despite our potential, ideas, goals and dreams – we allow our fears and doubts to become traitors and the result is always inaction and regret.

In pursuit of our personal success, or striving to accomplish our dreams and goals, we often allow the ‘monsters’ under the bed to hinder our progress, unnecessarily consume our time and thoughts, cause unneeded worry, and even dictate our actions. Each of us has been a child who at times was scared and fearful of the ‘monster’ under the bed, in the closet, or creeping around outside. Ironically, the ‘monsters’ didn’t exist … except in our own minds! And yet, often we think and act like children by creating ‘monsters’ in pursuit of our dreams and success – they are now just different ‘monsters’ but are still created, believed, and exist only within our own minds. And while some of these adult ‘monsters’ do actually exist, they still limit our potential, create fears and doubts, produce unnecessary worry, result in inaction, and thus eventuate into regret and failure.

What are your adult ‘monsters’? Do you fear losing money, being embarrassed, or being different? Do you fear that taking a risk might possibly result in failure? Perhaps you are afraid of what others will think, say, or do? I am sure you fear or think that you don’t have the necessary time, knowledge, or money to achieve success. You also are probably afraid of the work necessary to accomplish your goal or dream – right? Truthfully, these adult ‘monsters’ are real, scary, and failure and disappointment are undoubtedly a possibility. But they will continue to be ‘monsters’ under the bed until you can eliminate them – not from real life, but from your own mind!

But how? Let me give you two real life examples that we all have experienced that not only answer the ‘how’ but also prove the power of our thoughts. Silly as they may seem, these life experiences illustrate the absolute possibility we each have to eliminate fear from our minds to accomplish our goals.

1) Bees: We each have been outside on a beautiful summer’s day when a bee starts to fly around us – very closely. Like most people, you start to focus your thoughts and attention on that annoying bee, and you actually become fearful that you might possibly get stung. Then, after the bee just won’t leave you alone, you feel your only option is to swat at it and try to knock it away or kill it. If you are lucky, the bee leaves – but often people get stung in this situation. Why? Do you believe that the bee can sense your fear and thus feels threatened; hence, the reason it stings you? Have you ever tried to stay completely calm when a bee is around, or actually focus your thoughts on something other than the bee and just walk away? Try it next time, and you might just be surprised at the results.

Bee’s sting us when they feel threatened, and they sting in defense because they literally can sense our fears. What are the bees in your life? Do you believe – more importantly, do you put forth action – that not fearing, focusing your thoughts elsewhere, and actually doing something about it will result in you not being ‘stung’? Keep in mind however, that the next time a bee comes, you will still experience fear – and you may actually be stung. Failures in life happen, and doubts and fears need to be constantly eliminated. But the more you can eliminate those voices of fear and doubt in your head, not only will you not be stung, but you actually might accomplish something during the time you would have unnecessarily worried about and swatted at the bee.

2) Dogs: If you haven’t experienced a bee sting, then surely you have at one point felt threatened by a hostile dog. Do you think that dogs can sense your thoughts and fears? Absolutely! A naturally defensive dog will exert power and protection until they sense from you that you actually do not fear them. The moment a dog senses from you that you are more powerful, confident, and in control (not fearful) – then you have won. Keep in mind, however, that there are some dogs that just won’t give in – just like it is inevitable to face some failure on the journey. But the more confident we become, the less fear we exude, and the more action we take – than the more ‘dogs’ we will overcome.

The moment we can stop focusing on and worrying about the imaginary ‘monsters’ in our minds, or even the real ‘bees’ and ‘dogs’ in our lives, and eliminate fear, exude confidence, and take action – we have perhaps conquered the greatest road block on the pathway to success. Unfortunately, fear is real. Ironically, fear is in everyone. Thankfully, fear is manageable and absolutely possible to overcome! Those who achieve greatness and success in life, who accomplish their goals and dreams, and who live up to their full potential are those who face their fears and learn how to overcome them … continually.

The word ‘failure’ by definition is associated with many negative connotations, images, and experiences. Our challenge is to reprogram our mentality by focusing on the positive ramifications that result from our failings: knowledge obtained, lessons learned, growth and experience, awareness of what not to do or what does not work, progress and advancement, discovery and change, and getting one step closer to that goal or dream.

And yet, getting up, learning from, and persisting after a temporary failure is not the real challenge; the true difficulty is consistently getting up and never quitting after each failure – regardless of how many temporary defeats or set-backs are experienced on the path to success. And the great secret of those who achieve success: they never knew if their victory was around the next corner or not, and they had no idea from the outset how many steps or attempts would be required. But, they achieved because they learned from each failing, had hope that their victory was around the next bend, and never gave up until their goal (dream) was realized.

The next time you personally experience a temporary failure, I want you to reflect upon the fact that each of us, every day, are the benefactors of the results produced by some of the greatest failures in history. The list below could include a dozen more historically significant figures; however, the impact these 4 men have had upon the entire globe is without question:

1) Thomas Edison: He created and invented the light bulb only after thousands of failed attempts. The exemplary optimist, Edison insisted that he never failed, he just knew of thousands of ways that did not work. Rather than failures, he viewed each attempt as another step forward.

2) George Washington: The Revolutionary War was won by the Americans – not because of superior warfare tactics, experienced commanders or soldiers, strategic positions or attacks, or military and financial power – it was won in part because of the belief and persistence of the general who did not give up after the many defeats in battle despite all odds being against him.

3) Wright Brothers: Orville and Wilbur Wright certainly faced death and disaster in every attempt to fly; but perhaps more discouraging were probably the voices of fear and doubt in their own minds and by the masses who did not believe that flying was even possible. These brothers took risks, and as a result they were initially unpopular and they were laughed at and doubted constantly. But, even though their attempts could (and did) eventuate in disaster and failure at times – they constantly desired, believed, acted, and persisted towards their goal. It took almost a decade, 7 different aircrafts, and multiple crashes by each aircraft until finally their goal and dream was realized.

4) Abraham Lincoln: Isn’t ironic that a man who has had an incredibly significant impact upon the United States, and the world for that matter, over the course of his life he: failed in business, ran for state legislature and lost, lost his job, faced bankruptcy, had a nervous breakdown, ran for elector and was defeated, ran for congress and lost, ran for re-election in congress and lost, ran for senate and lost, and failed to become the Vice President. Each failure put him one step closer to winning the Presidency and eventually saving the Union.

Never has there been an individual who has achieved success without experiencing defeat, making mistakes, and learning from and persisting after failure was encountered. Pres. Barack Obama perhaps said it best when he penned: “Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.”

Your goal may not be to invent a light bulb, fly an airplane, or become the President – in fact, it may be as simple as losing weight, learning a musical instrument, or graduating college. However, regardless of what your goal or dream is in life, you must first truly desire it and believe that it is possible to achieve. You then must take action. And perhaps most importantly, you must realize at the outset that you will make mistakes, experience set-backs, and possible even fail in your attempt. Never forget that failure is an event and not a person – learn from your failures, get up immediately and try again, and persist and never quit until you accomplish your goal or dream. Failures are a necessary detour on the path that leads to success.

And yet, as important as developing the ability to control our mind is, one must realize that this is not a one time event that is suddenly achieved. Eradicating fears and doubts and controlling our minds is a daily process and effort – regardless of how many times we have successfully done it in the past. Fears and doubts will always reappear – the difficulty is to continually challenge them, and to never give in to indecisiveness, idleness, mediocrity, failure, or even procrastination.

Isn’t ironic that the majority of people put off or procrastinate their goals and dreams under the assumption that when circumstances are different the goal somehow will be easier to obtain. They also wrongfully assume that with increased age, wisdom, time, and money that somehow fears and doubts will likewise dissipate. People need to stop waiting for future events to come and heal their present problems – for when those events come, they become the present problems and they go on continually waiting for future remedies.

Thus, procrastination does not occur because of a lack of time, knowledge, money, or ability – often procrastination happens because of one’s fear of success and the work required to obtain that success. The majority of people are often frightened by their own potential and the effort necessary to accomplish their goals. Truthfully, it is our abilities not our weaknesses that scare us, it is success and not failure that is often harder to deal with, and realizing our full potential and the accomplishment of our dreams is certainly more difficult than the ease of mediocrity.

Goals and dreams are not achieved because fears are lived. Potential is not realized because doubts are listened to. Success is not accomplished because failures are not learned from. And worst of all, indecisiveness, lack of belief in self, inability to dream big, and habits of inaction breed increased fears, doubts, and failures. Contrastingly, taking risks, overcoming the voices of fear and doubt, learning from failure, and consistent action produces increased confidence, courage, belief, experience, abilities, knowledge, and success.

Therefore what? What does all of this mean? These words must be more than just nice philosophical and inspiring thoughts. If this article does not initiate a change or an increased action, then unfortunately an article will it remain. The challenge is to commit to change – changing your mentality, taking action, overcoming fears and doubts, and doing this often! Whenever your mind produces a thought of fear, doubt, or dwelling upon past or potential failures – you must learn to eradicate that thought. Do recognize however, that fears are important in many ways – they serve as a form of protection and they can prevent unfortunate results at times. But most times, fears and doubts are simply thoughts created in our own minds that if heeded will result in inaction and regret, and if overcome and action taken contrary to the fear itself, will often result in goals and dreams being accomplished, full potential being realized, and success being achieved.

We literally can become and accomplish anything! And despite our uncontrollable circumstances, economic conditions, racial barriers, limiting disabilities, education obtained, or even previous failures experienced, we can accomplish any of our goals and dreams in life if only we learn how to ignore and eliminate the limitations that only exist within our own minds.

We must decide and commit now to forever eliminate from your vocabulary words such as: can’t, impossible, too hard, quit, unable, improbable, failure, hopeless, retreat, or any other word or phrase that limits your potential. These are limiting beliefs, and we must consistently train our minds to ignore and not believe them. How often I have heard someone quote Henry Ford for saying ‘whether you think you can or you can’t – you’re right.’ The reality is that even if you think you can’t, you actually can – the challenge is actually believing that you can, changing your mentality, and putting forth the action to make it a reality.

Thus, despite the fears, doubts, disabilities, circumstances, or even failures we each will face, we literally have the choice, the ability, and the power to determine our own potential and create our own successes. Constantly eliminating the limiting beliefs that come into each of our minds is essential in order to accomplish our goals and dreams in life.

Excuses only accuse ourselves, reveal our weaknesses, and demonstrate our unwillingness to put forth action. In fact, believing we are incapable of greatness or that our dreams are impossible is merely a cover-up, an excuse, for avoiding personal responsibility, confronting our fears and critics, and retracting from the work success requires. Rudyard Kipling said it best when he penned: “we have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.”

Eliminating excuses, however, is futile unless we likewise develop the necessary attributes, acquire the essential mentality, and maintain the required action that our goals, dreams, and successes demand. Development and continual implementation of such characteristics is essential. Below is listed only 10 of the many concepts, attributes, and actions that help us not only eliminate excuses from our lives but also inspire us to become great and accomplish any goal, dream, or personal success in life.

1) Bottom of the Ladder: Recognize that the vast majority of those individuals who have become great or accomplished success also started at the bottom. They too were just regular people who likewise had fears and doubts, others probably criticized them, and despite their talent or potential – they certainly had the desire, belief, work ethic, and persistence to become and accomplish what they have.

2) ‘I Wish I Would Have’: Failure usually does not result from a lack of ability or brains, it results from inaction and unwillingness to attempt. Desiring security, being content with good, listening to fears, and not seizing opportunities are the crutches of mediocrity and the excuses for failure. The ability to take risks is far more important than necessity of gaining knowledge or experience. Never fall victim to expressing the unfortunate phrase ‘I wish I would have,’ and commit now to always take action. Wise was John Whittier when he poetically wrote: “for of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these – ‘it might have been.’” And remember, that opportunities always come before you are prepared, and leave before you realize it.

3) Born for Success, Failure by Choice: Your potential is superior to circumstance. We cannot allow the dominant culture and ease of mediocrity to replace the work necessary for success in anything. We are born with and can develop all the necessary knowledge and attributes required to realize success, and anyone can (if they are willing) exert the effort success demands. The difficulty arises when that effort must be maintained in the midst of fears, criticism from others, potential set-backs, and the constant desire to give up and just be average. Failure is a result of choice, success is a result of effort.

4) Fake It ‘Till You Make It: Every day you must repeat in your mind: “I don’t know what I am doing, but I will keep doing it.” This is not to suggest that conscious ignorance, lack of knowledge, or meaningless effort will eventually somehow produce success; rather, it is to suggest that taking risks, having faith, and putting forth action entail learning as you go.

5) No Time, Knowledge, Money, or Any Other Excuse: If you don’t have time, you must prioritize and make time. If you lack the knowledge, you can obtain it. If you think you need money to make money, you are sadly mistaken. If you think you are too young and inexperienced, realize that age and time never make taking risks and overcoming fear any easier. If you believe you are too old or it’s too late, lack of courage and giving up is your problem – not age. What other excuses do you give and believe that limit your potential and delay your effort? Whatever they may be – commit today to never again think, believe, express, or live any excuse that procrastinates the action required to realize your goals and dreams.

6) Attitude is a Choice, Not an Outcome of Circumstance: We literally have the power to not only determine our attitude, but our very destiny. Each one of our thoughts, feelings, and reactions are choices we must dictate, not just react to or be dictated by. Victor Frankl masterfully taught how between stimulus and response is a space of time where we have the power to choose; and it is that choice – the choice of mastering our thoughts, controlling our feelings, taking personal responsibility, and choosing to be positive – that determines our happiness and success. Regardless of whether or not we can change our circumstances – we can change ourselves and our attitude.

7) Turn Off the TV: The most commonly used excuse as to why people fail to obtain their goals and dreams in life is that they had no time because they were too busy with the other tasks and priorities of life. Watching 20+ hours of TV each week is neither a task nor a priority, and certainly is a leading contributor to idleness, lack of knowledge, inability to take risks, and every other reason why people fail. And yet, the TV is but one of the modern devices that steal the valuable time that could be used to reach our dreams. Included with the TV should be: DVD’s, internet surfing, iPods, magazines, CD’s, theatre’s, etc. These items and activities in and of themselves are not bad necessarily, they are just a major reason why our potential is never realized!

Planning, Early to Rise, & Burn the Midnight Oil: In connection with the thoughts expressed above, the inability to plan our time effectively, prioritize our time appropriately, and make time consistently is perhaps the leading reason as to why excuses are made and failures result. Being organized, having a to-do list, and setting and striving towards goals – as simplistic as it seems – is the foundational formula for success in anything. And yet ironically, one of the attributes and secrets of most successful people is that they are willing to get up earlier and work harder and longer than everyone else. This does not mean they don’t make time for other important priorities or people, or even work excessively for years and years; rather, they are willing to put forth extra effort for a period of time to eventually create more time later – this time is often referred to as ‘time freedom’ and ‘financial independence.’

9) Never Worry What Others Say or Think: Our unlimited potential is often blinded by our curable inferiority complex. We literally can become and accomplish anything; but so often, we worry about what others think, lack confidence in ourselves, and wrongfully assume that circumstances or other individuals dictate whether or not our goals and dreams are possible. Never forget that if your self-esteem is low, knowledge is lacking, or ability is missing, that you can overcome, learn, and develop whatever is necessary to achieve success – it is up to YOU.

10) Repetition is Power: Each of the concepts, attributes, and actions discussed above are extremely important; but, the implementation of these principles must be a consistent effort, not a one-time attempt. Failure is thus not the result of an unproductive attempt, it is the result of failing to attempt again. And perhaps the greatest secret and attribute necessary to accomplish any success is not one’s desire, belief, courage, or even knowledge – but their effort, persistence, learning from failure, and a resolve to never quit. Excuses are made by those who have not learned and implemented these truths.

We all have fears. By hearing about other people who were scared, but found the courage to carry on regardless, more of us will be able to follow their example. 19 people who’ve successfully overcome their fears share their stories here:

Fear of Being Yourself

Robert Mack – I’m a 32 year old man. I was salutatorian of my high school class, a standout athlete, an Ivy League masters graduate, a professional model and actor, featured in TV shows for MTV, CBS, NBC and others and in magazines like Glamour, a Big 4 corporate consultant and executive coach to presidents and CEOs at Fortune 500 companies across the world… and deeply, seriously, strangely suicidal for years.

I’m now a celebrity life coach, speaker, and a published author and I have written about all this in my new book, “Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment“.

Here’s are 2 tips to get you started:

1. Drop all comparison. Become independent of the good opinion of
others. Blaze your own trail and beat your own path. Live dangerously
and sublimely joyful on your own terms, in your own way. Remember,
there’s never a crowd on the leading edge!

2. Make feeling good your top priority. Be selfish enough to
prioritize your happiness over everything else in the world. Then,
like the rain cloud, you’ll become so full of love, joy, and bliss,
that you won’t be able to contain yourself; you’ll shower that love,
joy, and bliss all over the earth. Realize that it’s only in being
selfish that you can become happy. And only in becoming happy, that
you’ll ever truly become unselfish.

Dallas Woodburn – I’m 22 now but I was born three months prematurely, weighing a mere two pounds, six ounces. I was in the hospital for the first few months of my life, being kept alive by feeding tubes and a respirator. I feel so incredibly blessed to be alive and healthy today. My harrowing entrance into the world is a daily reminder for me of the fragility of life – passions and dreams are too important to “put off” till tomorrow!

Today I’m passionate about literacy. I published my first book, a collection of short stories and poems titled There’s a Huge Pimple on My Nose, when I was in fifth grade. It went on to sell 2,200 copies. I have also published stories in a wide variety of magazines including Family Circle, Writer’s Digest, and Justine, and seven Chicken Soup for the Soul books.

Writing has given me so much: self-confidence, an outlet for my imagination and self-expression, a means to connect with others. I have learned things like the importance of following your passion, believing in yourself, and persevering despite setbacks. Thanks to my writing, I have had once-in-a-lifetime experiences like being flown to New York City to be a guest on The Early Show on CBS; studying abroad for a semester at a university in Norwich, England; appearing on the national PBS book talk show Between the Lines; and meeting people from all over the world and all walks of life.

In 2000 I created Write On! For Literacy, a nonprofit foundation to encourage kids to discover joy, confidence, and a means of self-expression and connection with others through reading and writing. In the past eight years, my Holiday Book Drive has collected and distributed 10,140 new books to underprivileged children for Christmas. A portion of the profits from my books are donated to Write On’s Scholarship Fund, which I established three years ago to send deserving young writers to summer writing camp.

Fear of Change

Suzanne Blake – Having always been successful in my very secure job in vocational counseling/special education, I took a huge leap after my mother died to start my own career coaching business. I was terrified to start my own business, but kept my vision focused on my dream. Although I had the tools to help people find their ideal career, I lacked the business skills to make my business a success.

After a year of struggling, I went back to being a special education teacher, but didn’t give up on my dream. I took coaching classes, hired a business coach and re-launched my business while recovering from back surgery, juggling a part-time teaching job, a growing private practice and becoming a step-mother and first time time wife at 42!

My work has been profiled in the New York Times, The Boston Globe, Redbook Magazine, MSN.com, Smart Money Magazine, and numerous other media venues. I published the book, 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, with leading experts Jack Canfield, John Gray and Bob Proctor when I was 51, as well as an eBook to help women attract their ideal mate.

With only one corporate coaching class, I have traveled the world giving communications and management seminars, each time experiencing many fears as I entered new environments. I use the lessons from all my challenges to teach my private and corporate clients how to experience more career and relationship success. Many of these tips and books can be accessed on my web site.

Mike Cortson – I had a terrible time controlling my thinking. I was a successful lawyer for nearly 20 years when I collapsed in 2003 and was rushed to the hospital. I had an emergency colonoscopy, died twice during the surgery, had 5 cancerous polyps removed, underwent further testing and discovered I was dying from pancreas, liver and colon cancers. Nice.

I was NOT a candidate for treatment or further surgery and was sent home to die. I was depressed and my family was sure I was suicidal. I had lost 60 pounds and was withering away fast. My family had me arrested and imposed a conservatorship on me and I was thrown into the looney bin. I managed to talk my way out of there after a few days and was released. By then my digestive system was shot. My body was completely jaundiced and the whites of my eyes were orange. The pain was horrific.

I got home and finally realized that I was indeed going to die. I called hospice. They were shocked since the patient rarely makes that call to them. I then did my funeral arrangements. I continued to get worse and was finally facing the end. By October hospice had brought out the “comfort pack” which is the final stage where you get the maximum morphine up until you expire. I had a massive stroke leaving me in a coma for several weeks. When I woke up I was not lucid and was paralyzed. Some time in January 2004 the massive blood clot in my brain released and my lucidity started to return.

It was an awakening I can only liken to being a newborn baby. I couldn’t do a thing for myself and I was now in my third nursing home in an end of life program as the cancers were not going away.

So how can things be worse? How can you find a positive from all that? I had to relearn EVERYTHING from scratching my nose, walking, talking, reading, writing…all of it. Sure it was easier as my memory gradually returned. The physical aspects were next to impossible. In Feb 2004 my cancer was gone. I had lost everything financially. What I didn’t pay in medical I gave away to family. I had no use for material things any longer. I became determined to walk again and made my goal to leave the nursing home and return to a “normal” life. It was WORK!

My determination never faltered. Each step was agony but everyone was a win. In November 2004 I WALKED out of Jordan’s Nursing Home and returned to life on the outside. I was the only one to leave alive since the place was opened.

How do you overcome the negative? I wrote it all in a book, Winning Thinking, How To Be Happy Almost All Of The Time where I share the techniques you can learn immediately to take total control of all you think. My tenacity and absolute resolve to be happy no matter what is what started the healing sequence and maintains it today. My happiness is focused on the moment and not in reliance on some future event or acquisition. I am living proof of the power of the mind. My doctors have no explanation. The hospice people can’t believe I didn’t die.

You may benefit from this book and practice what is in there every day for the rest of your life. I do. I also have a weekly half hour radio program on WRHC-FM 106.7 that airs Tuesdays at 10 am ET and replays Thursdays at 6 pm ET. The station streams live at www.radioharborcountry.org . All of the programs are available for free download as podcasts from my web site at http://michaelcortson.com.

Matt Toone – About a year ago I had the goal/dream of leaving my 9-5 day job and setting out on an entrepreneurial dream. I took the risk, and am bombarded daily by the constant voices of fear and doubt that is in all of our minds, and seems to never dissipate. However, I have persisted and accomplished my goal – now having two successful businesses, am a published author, have two successful blogs, and started a non-profit (all in the last year). Has it been easy – no way! Has it been worth it – absolutely.

I just launched a blog, Awake Your Potential, that essentially documents what I learned and experienced in this last year’s journey – and the entire purpose of the blog is for people to overcome their fears, live up to their full potential, and accomplish their goals and dreams

Fear of Failure

Zohra Sarwari -  I’ve faced my fears because I’m a Muslim woman who wears traditional Islamic clothing including the veil, yet I want to help inspire Muslims and Non-Muslims.  It has been a long journey because I get people who think I am not educated, that I don’t speak English, or they treat me as if I am oppressed.  I choose to succeed regardless of how people are to me.  I choose to be positive, and I choose to hang around people who are positive, and believe in my message.

My parents fear for my life, because of the ignorant people out there, yet I know that if I don’t have courage and try my best, how can I break the cycle of ignorance?   Sometimes we have to put our fears aside for the sake of humanity!

I”m the author of 7 books, a professional speaker, and a business coach.

Danny Kofke – I’m a special education teacher and author of the book How To Survive (and perhaps thrive) On A Teacher’s Salary.  When my book was released two years ago I was an unknown author. My greatest fear was not knowing how to spread my message and wondering if it would be as powerful as I thought it would be.

Two years and one recession later, I’ve had some positive media exposure and have helped others in their financial lives. With a lot of hard work and persisitence, I have been featured on numerous websites, magazines and newspapers including AOL.com, Yahoo Finance and The Wall Street Journal. I’ve been on several television shows and over 85 radio shows!

I am still looking for ways to share my message but have overcome my fear of not being able to spread my message and show others how they can thrive on their salaries too.

Will Corrente – Fear is nothing more than a lack of faith in yourself to overcome the obstacle, circumstance, or challenge in your path. It is that flicker of doubt in your mind that grows into a flame, that you do not have the ability to “do it”. Whatever, “IT” is. In 2002, I faced a couple of my “IT’s”; the fear of the unknown and the fear of going it alone in a new and unfamiliar place.

In 2001, I found myself working for a company in New York City. Although I considered myself a serial entrepreneur, I somehow drifted off track to the “safety” of a job and convinced myself I was on the right path. The events of 9/11 changed all that and in the months following, I was reinvigorated with thoughts of possibilities. I had seen first-hand the frailty of life and decided that when confronted with an “IT” circumstance I would make fear my ally and not my adversary.

I knew I had always wanted to build a company from the ground up, to do something I truly enjoyed and achieve a comfortable lifestyle for all of my efforts. So in May of 2002, I sold my condo, quit my job and moved to Florida to open a business. Not really sure what the business was going to be, but taking the chance and having the faith that I had the ability to “do it”.

Overcoming fear for me was accomplished by looking into my future and seeing the regret of inaction. In that moment I realized the regret of inaction far outweighed any possible setback I may encounter. After several months in Florida of soul searching, opportunity seeking and introspection, I had an idea to turn my passion for animals into a business.

I opened a dog daycare, hotel, grooming and training center with two business partners. The business has been very successful and has proven to me that “IT” is never something to be feared, “IT” is to be embraced. Building on my success in the pet industry, I am again facing my “IT”, and have opened a speaking and consulting practice working with individuals and entrepreneurs to live a life without regret. Now that business, Corrente Consulting International is helping people get where they want to go.

Jeff Rivera – One of my greatest fears to overcome was the fear that I would fail. I remember when I was writing my novel, Forever My Lady, I wondered if I would ever finish it. Was it a total waste of time? Would people even like it when I had completed? And when it came out would people even buy it?

I told people, some were even friends, that I wanted to self-publish Forever My Lady and they laughed and smirked and told me I was wasting my time. I told them that I wanted to somehow get this book picked up by a major publisher and they talked about me behind my back.

I had to really take a look at myself and keep moving forward, I kept writing one page at a time. There were times that I was ready to give up.  But I overcame my fear by thinking about the big picture, I wasn’t just writing this for me. I was writing this novel for the young people in the world, mostly Hispanic, who didn’t have anything to read that they could relate to. Nothing. I had to tell this story for them. The reason had to go beyond just me. That’s what I did to overcome my fear of failure. And it worked.  I finished the novel, I self-published and lo and behold, the book was picked up by Warner Books.”

Fear of Not Fulfilling Your Dreams

Kathryn Tristan – Imagine being trapped for more than 20 years! My prison bars were invisible but very real. I couldn’t leave my own city for fear of having overwhelming anxiety and panic. I trembled at crossing bridges and even at times doing simple things like grocery shopping.

But here’s the good news. I overcame these disabling fears. I learned that when you want to make real and lasting changes, you do that from INSIDE OUT, not the more traditional way of outside in (e.g., pills). By learning to hear the inner chatterbox of doom and gloom and choosing to disagree, I became the leader of my thoughts, not the follower of my fears.

We can all learn to challenge the automatic ‘terribilizing’ that goes on in our heads most without ever knowing it. Fear has been my best teacher. It not only showed me how ‘not’ to live, it gave me the push I needed to re-establish the mangled connection to my inner fearless spirit. This wonderful internal guide knows all things are happening as they need to and that I can handle not just some of my challenges but all of them with grace and strength. I have now flown to many parts of the world and even have spoken to packed audiences. Never, ever give up on yourself and always remember…our thoughts create our lives, choose them wisely!

Today I am a research scientist on the faculty of Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis, USA, and proud author of the book, Anxiety Rescue – Simple Strategies to Stop Fear from Ruling Your Life.

Fear of Public Speaking

Lisa Tener – Public speaking was definitely a fear of mine. I remember the first talk I ever had to give in junior high school in front of the auditorium. I thought my knees would completely give way. And now, I do a lot of public speaking as part of my living–and I teach classes in person and on the phone and even teach to over 200 people at the Harvard Medical School CME Publishing Course each year.  I have been on national TV (ABC World News with Peter Jennings, PBS-TV) and even have a few very goofy youtube videos I shot for some hubpages articles.

And it’s definitely paid off–I could not get the word out as effectively about what I do [helping people write and publish their books] and could not teach to large crowds if I hadn’t mostly gotten over it. But I didn’t overcome it in one fellswoop. First I took some acting classes in college. Then I spoke to small groups of volunteers, training them and occasionally giving a fund-raising speech when I ran a nonprofit organization. And then they put me on TV–that was really scary.

The four things that have helped get over my fear of public speaking the most:

1. Be prepared–practice–be spontaneous, but from really knowing your stuff.
2. Get a coach. I  did this more as I got older and it helped tremendously.
3. Be yourself. The more you can relax into it, the more you can be you and the more your audience connects with you.
4. Practice practice practice. It does become second nature. The fear doesn’t totally go away but it becomes more something in the background.

6 Lessons I’ve Learnt From Writing This Story

1. Anyone can go from being terrified to being terrific.
2. You’re never too old or too depressed to make your life change.
3. Fear can be overcome by tackling it head first.
4. If you don’t take a risk you can’t gain anything.
5. Adversity makes you stronger.
6. People love to help other people.

Tips For Overcoming Fear

Many thanks to Susan Blake for these wonderful tips:

If we look closely at fears, we can see they’re not really true. I like to use the acronym:

Fantasized
Experiences
Appearing
Real

This helps one ask the question: “What proof do I have that this fear is real?” and helps take the power out of their fearful thoughts.

When we are really scared, a great technique is to take a pad of paper and write down the sentence

I am afraid of…….. and write the rest of the the sentence, then start again and write

I am afraid of……….. and write the rest of the sentence. By doing this over and over, some deep felt fears get cleared and one can move past them.

One can also isolate their “inner critic” by giving the voice a name and having a dialogue with it to distinguish it from the wiser voices in our head. One can say, “Okay Sam, back off”, or “Poor Sam, you are really scared today” to help manage the critic!

Thank you also to Dr. Kenneth Herman, psychologist and author of Secrets From The Sofa who says:

“Face your fears directly despite anxiety because they will be abated. Many people wait until their problem reaches a severe state. By waiting the problem becomes more complicated.”

What are your main fears? Are you ready to face them? Do you have any tips on how to overcome fear?