And yet our culture and society certainly do not proclaim that same message. From the media to our educational system, from our co-workers to our neighbors, and even from our peers to our own family members, the unfortunate message that most often gets communicated is that our inner character is secondary (if even considered) to the tangible accomplishments and material possessions we obtain when determining our success in life.

However, we should never assume that because developing the inner character is far more important when all is said and done, that somehow that encourages or justifies us in not pursuing these other – good – worldly successes. Part of the definition of ‘real success’ is becoming great, achieving things, and accomplishing success in many areas of life. We must live up to our potential mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, financially, intellectually, and especially spiritually – all areas of our life are important.

And yet, while each of the mentioned areas of life are important, they are not equally important. All of the wealth, fame, power, credentials, and awards we obtain in life will certainly never be equal to or compensate for the success we achieve with the character of our souls and within the walls of our own home. In fact, if we have to fail in some of these other pursuits to achieve the most important successes, we thankfully will not be like most people on their death beds who unfortunately utter the sad words of: “I wish I had spent more time with my family.” Thus, dealing with the disappointment of certain failures will be far easier than dealing with the disappointment that accompanies some successes because they were not the right successes.

Considering the truth of this definition of ‘real’ success, perhaps the most important thing to realize and seek to avoid is that we often actually pursue this ‘real’ success, but justify putting it off temporarily in order to achieve the other successes which supposedly will create the time, money, and ability to accomplish these ‘real’ successes. To illustrate this point, how many of us have fallen victim to the myth and misconception that the next promotion, pay raise, current challenge overcome, or future event will be the answer to our problem and lead us to this success? How often do we wait for future events to come and heal our present problems – and when they do come, those events actually become the present problems and we go on waiting for future remedies?

Be wise enough to understand now that the next promotion and pay raise will never solve the problem, nor will it lead to ‘real’ success. The definition of ‘promotion’ is: more responsibility, work, and time at the office. The definition of a ‘pay raise’ is: as income increases, so do expenses. Also, once your current challenge is overcome, inevitably life has a way of bringing another one around the next bend. Never fall victim to the mentality that pursuing and achieving these other successes while neglecting the very things that determine ‘real’ success will eventuate as you planned (even if you initially intend to put off the ‘real’ successes just temporarily).

Thus, live and prioritize now! Pursue these other wonderful life successes, but never at the cost of the ‘real’ successes. And most importantly, despite what our culture ingrains into our minds, always remember the definition of what ‘real’ success is – it is not determined by the institutions attended, education obtained, career accomplishments, promotions or pay raises, titles held or awards won, credentials or certificates, or the wealth you acquire. The ‘real’ success in life is solely determined by who you become, the character and attributes you develop, the people you help, and whether or not at the end of the day you were true to the most important priorities in life – yes – God & Family!

But I have often wondered what is more unfortunate – the awful situation of the sad and desperate beggar, whose situation was brought on by poor choices or unavoidable life circumstances; or is it actually found in the judgmental, scared, or selfish throngs of people who carelessly pass by these beggars (who also are human beings)?

The thoughts, intentions, or excuses that go through our minds during those sad, sometimes scary, and usually appalling moments when we are confronted by such a beggar often reveals much about our own character (flaws and potential). Do we find ourselves using some of these excuses to justify our actions (or inactions): they brought this upon themselves, they’ll use my money for alcohol or drugs, why don’t they just get a job, someone else will help them, I don’t have any money on me, etc. Perhaps we feel scared, threatened, or have little children with us that we want to protect – and understandably so. Or, perhaps our heart aches for them, we empathize, we wish we could help but are not in a position ourselves to help, or we literally don’t have any money on us but would otherwise help them, etc.

Regardless of how we act or think in these situations, the reality is that we each could probably do a little more to help those who have a lot less. And the reality is that the ‘beggars’ in our lives are not limited to those on street corners. They are the neighbor or friend struggling, the person in the checkout stand who is a few dimes short or having a bad day, the sick child at the hospital, the impoverished mother in a developing country, to even a family member in need. In fact, the person that stares at us in the mirror each morning is often a ‘beggar’ at times in life. And the definition of a ‘beggar’ is not limited to one in need of financial assistance – there is just as much physical, emotional, spiritual, and social ‘begging’ that goes on every day – by all of us.

There is a principle that every successful person that has ever walked this earth has applied, and is the leading reason why they are successful – it is: Give and you will receive! This reality is unexplainable, yet undeniably true. He who is selfish with his knowledge, time, or money never seems to amount to much in life. Conversely, the person who gives of their acquired knowledge, free time (even if he has to make free time), and generously gives of the money he has earned – somehow success, happiness, and more abundance always seem to follow!

Thus, ask yourself: should I help the beggar? Just as important, one should also ask: do I want to be successful? While there are many elements that contribute to one’s success in anything in life, perhaps the greatest attribute and necessity for this success is developing the ability to ‘help the beggar.’ Perhaps initially, you help the beggar to help yourself. But the true test and challenge is to always help regardless of whether or not you have the time, knowledge, or money. And yet, although giving to help the beggar should be our sole objective, isn’t it ironic that in the process of giving we receive so much more. It is through giving, serving, and helping the ‘beggar’ that allows us to achieve our successes, reach our potential, and develop the truly important attributes of life.

In early 2008, I started a real estate investing business. In the process of setting up the legal entity, I wanted to choose a company name that reflected what type of business it was, and yet also be something that was personally meaningful and applicable to me. Ideally, I wanted a name that would be somewhat of a mission statement and daily reminder of why I was in business, how I should conduct business, and the type of person I should be.

After much thought, I decided to name my company LFG Properties. Because it was a real estate business, the word ‘properties’ was a logical choice; but why the acronym L.F.G.? This simple acronym reflects not only my priorities in life and business, but it also reveals the necessary elements to be successful in anything in life. Perhaps more importantly, the acronym itself should suggest and define what ‘real’ success is in life.

The letters of this important acronym stand for:

L – Lord

F – Family

G – Give

It is simple in theory, but extremely difficult to put into practice these priorities and actions on a daily basis. And yet, putting God first in our lives, making time for family, and then giving of our time and resources to bless the lives of others is – and always has been – the secret for success in life. It is these priorities that are absolutely necessary to achieve success financially, academically, mentally, athletically, socially, spiritually, or in any other pursuit in life.

What is missing in this acronym, however, is the letter W – and that W stands for ‘Work.’ We all understand that daily action, discipline, and effort are required to achieve our goals and dreams. However, what the majority of us fail to realize is that in connection with putting in the work and effort towards our goals and dreams, we also need to put forth work and effort on the much more important areas of our life – God & Family. And then, after we put forth this effort and live by these priorities, the ‘real’ success will only be accomplished if and when we use our time, talents, knowledge, resources, and money to give to and help others.

It is undoubtedly a strange principle, but nevertheless true. From both a personal charitable perspective as well as even from a business point of view, the reality is that the more one unselfishly gives of their time and resources, the more they will obtain, receive back, and accomplish.

So – what is your goal or dream in life? What success or attribute do you want to accomplish? Perhaps for some it is to obtain great wealth and achieve financial independence? If so, are you willing to put in the work necessary to obtain that wealth and then freely give of it to help others less fortunate? Is your goal, for example, to develop a great talent or achieve a dream? Are you willing to help others along the journey in pursuit of that goal, and to give back long before and after the goal is realized? If not, in my opinion, you may obtain your goal but fail in your objective; and coincidentally, not experience the true joy and reward that money, time freedom, talents developed, knowledge obtained, and dreams realized can bring. Never forget that disappointment can accompany our greatest accomplishments if those accomplishments were not sought for with the right intentions, and the rewards, money, talents, knowledge, or resources were not shared with or given to others along the journey and after the goal was realized.

To fully understand and benefit from the principle of ‘give and you will receive,’ one must realize that there are two approaches to accomplishing this goal – and both are extremely important to understand and implement. Although the two approaches are different in objective, the concept of both approaches is perfectly summarized by Zig Ziglar who once said that ‘you can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Thus, in order to receive, one must give – and the way to give can be approached using one of these two methods:

1) Charitable Giving: This approach is the most common form of giving, and essentially entails one who gives unselfishly and willingly in a desire to help another individual. Charitably giving is obviously the purest and greatest form of giving because the giver does so with no thought of recognition or reward. And yet ironically, the giver – in some random way and at some point – will always receive more than they ever gave.

2) Force the Hand: The approach of ‘forcing the hand’ simply entails one who gives and helps others in order to obtain what they want or need. For example, in business situations, people often have every incentive to pass on referrals, team up in a joint venture, or increase the sales or profit for someone with the intent of helping the other person. They willingly give and help because they know that in return their business will benefit and success will result. This approach is often perceived as selfish in nature, unethical, and avoided by those ignorant of what is required to obtain success. Nothing could be further than the truth – because those who have accomplished great successes in business and in their own personal life realize that this approach is not only necessary, but if done with morals, values, and unselfish intentions – great rewards always result.

Giving initiates receiving, and receiving requires giving! I personally believe that the majority of people completely understand and agree with this principle of ‘give and you will receive.’ However, what this same majority of people often fail to realize is that they only understand and practice this principle from a strictly spiritual perspective. The reality is that this same principle applies to all of our goals, dreams, and successes in life – it is a principle with just as much temporal application and ramifications as it is one of a spiritual nature. Thus, the word ‘give’ has many connotations outside of the concept of service – thus, giving should also entail our time, money, knowledge, talents, resources, ideas, feelings, possessions, food, beliefs, and even our eventual successes.

But never forget that as well intentioned as you may be when you think and say that you will give when you receive, the real challenge and reward comes when we give even before we have received. And if our giving does actually happen before, during, and after our receiving, then our receiving will always exceed what we gave.